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BioRenee Roszel

Renee's Believe-It-If-You-Dare Bio

When Renee was born, her parents were too poor to have children, so she spent her first 7 years thinking she was the family dog Sparkie. This gave Renee a slow start in her education. Nevertheless, she speaks 11 languages most of them dead. Through her books she likes to think she is slowly killing English, too. Much of Renee's youth after the 'Sparkie Era' was occupied with mastering numerous musical instruments. Renee is proud to say that her childhood exploits inspired the movies SHINE, THE COMPETITION and OLD YELLER. As an adult, Renee has won the Miss America competition TWICE, has received a half-dozen Pulitzer prizes, give-or-take, and was recently presented with The Congressional Medal of Honor for, as The President said, "Just being you, kiddo!"

Renee was particularly touched by a note she received, not long ago, from Queen Elizabeth, which reads in part, "And I admit, Renee, I should have taken your advice about raising demonstrative children. After all, if it hadn't been for your splendid counsel, I would still be waving all wrong."

Renee has written fiction under a number of pseudonyms: Irving Stone, J. D. Salinger, Larry McMurtry and, of course, Margaret Mitchell. Her nonfiction works have been limited to the romance genre, where she continues to unflinchingly relate her personal amorous history under her real name.

Her books have received every writing honor ever given by the world wide writing community. As well, she has garnered several non-writing-related prizes from The Canine Club of America.

Finally, in her spare time, Renee enjoys gourmet Tibetan cooking, barefoot marathon running, and teaching the occasional course in Plasma Physics at Los Alamos. As Renee modestly insists, "By tweaking the imagination of those charming boys out there, I feel I can do my part in working out the bugs in nuclear fusion."

Renee's older but no less wacky--well, maybe a little less wacky. Okay a LOT less! Maybe Even True Bio.

Renee's philosophy is: "When in doubt--eat." She also feels that if you're in a quandary over exactly what to eat, it might as well be chocolate. With this philosophy tightly in tow, Renee manages to live a relatively stress-free existence. That is, unless some thoughtless husband eats the last bit of chocolate and forgets to mention it, and it's two in the morning, and Renee finds herself in doubt (if you're confused here, refer back to 'Renee's Philosophy.').

Renee has worked at home, writing books, since her two sons were very small. She found that working at home gave her the best of both worlds. She could close herself in her office and yell, "Don't bother mother, boys!" and she could also, easily get to a refrigerator (refer back togerator (refer back to 'Renee's Philosophy').

Oh, a codicil to Renee's Philosophy is, "Lie to your children about which is tastier, chocolate or fruit." When her darlings reached for one of her chocolate doughnuts, she shrieked, "No! Noooooooo! Don't have one of those nasty things. Have a yummy apple." Now, Renee admits she never dreamed she was actually being a good mother at these times of utter, blinding selfishness, but interestingly, her sons have grown into healthy, slender, marathon running young men with enviable cholesterol levels, a love for fruit and no need for fiber supplements in their diets. Go figure.

Renee likes to kid around a lot. She writes humorous romances. At least that's what she aims for. If you found yourself smiling at least once during this little Renee Exposé , then you might enjoy her books. If you didn't--if you scratched your head and fought an urge to clean your toenails--then I'd suggest you become pen pals with some of Renee's past editors. You have a great deal in common. Honestly, humor is extremely subjective. Renee tries, the poor dear, to please everybody. She tries and tries. She's still trying. If you enjoy her books, drop her an e-mail. I promise, it'll make the apple-puking, cholesterol-riddled, chocoholic's day.

Congratulations to our January winner Hope Wilson of Chicago, Illinois! Maybe YOU can be next month's winner.
Simply e-mail your name and mailing address to Renee here. At the end of the month, she'll draw a name and the winner will receive her most recent book--autographed! The winners name will be posted here! DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?

Click here for your chance to win!
Mail Renee a message!

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